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Re: My ex wants me to break the law for our child - sh...
« Reply #15 on: February 27, 2011, 04:39:10 PM »
The ex has healthinsurance for your daughter but it won't pay for an inhaler or asthma medication? I don't understand.  Sounds odd to me.
Private health insurance companies can set whatever rules they like, children with pre-existing conditions can go fuck themselves according to some of them. If that's the insurance the ex's employer is providing her with then thats her situation.
Re: My ex wants me to break the law for our child - sh...
« Reply #16 on: February 27, 2011, 05:00:43 PM »
I think she would probably be more likely to get in trouble for this than you would, but either way as a tax paying citizen I can't approve of this plan. Health care isn't free, and my government has determined that you and your ex make enough money to pay for the drugs out of pocket, and its your problem because the kid with asthma is your own. You'll take a hit to lifestyle because of having less hard-earned money to spend because you have to funnel it into paying for the drugs, but that's the breaks until we get a more sane healthcare system.
Re: My ex wants me to break the law for our child - sh...
« Reply #17 on: February 27, 2011, 06:47:34 PM »
So you're paying her $2,500 a month and she can't afford asthma medications? Are you kidding? What the hell is she spending that money on?
See this:  http://www.costhelper.com/cost/health/albuterol-inhaler.html. The salmeterol is quite inexpensive compared to many medications even if she had to pay it out of pocket.
This sounds like a scam, my friend.
for $2500....please read £2500 GBP which is even more?
Re: My ex wants me to break the law for our child - sh...
« Reply #18 on: February 27, 2011, 06:48:31 PM »
Private health insurance companies can set whatever rules they like, children with pre-existing conditions can go fuck themselves according to some of them. If that's the insurance the ex's employer is providing her with then thats her situation.
shes not working at the moment - this is the insurance package she has chosen
Re: My ex wants me to break the law for our child - sh...
« Reply #19 on: February 27, 2011, 06:48:55 PM »
My agreement says that we must pay half on uninsured expenses. Also, if she can't get medicaid then she should be able to get CHIP. This seems very suspicious to me..
have now read up CHIP - I didnt know about this - thanks!
Re: My ex wants me to break the law for our child - sh...
« Reply #20 on: February 27, 2011, 06:50:36 PM »
for $2500....please read £2500 GBP which is even more?
Then she's taking you for a fool. Asthma meds just don't cost that much. Maybe your ex needs to cut back on the designer purses and luxury cars or something.
Re: My ex wants me to break the law for our child - sh...
« Reply #21 on: February 27, 2011, 07:22:41 PM »
Thanks, this is really helpful BUT you say you can't lie about how much court appointed child support you receive. This is EXACTLY what she wants me to do....to say that I pay one-fifth of what I pay to them. Thats what I find so confusing - why would you purchase health insurance that does not cover meds in a very common condition? Does such a thing exist? My ex says it does.
Wait.  I was under the impression that you were British.  Are you telling me that an American court has ordered you to pay a specific amount of child support and that you pay it to her through an American legal system under penalty of wage garnishment?  Or are you simply sending her a check in the mail of your own volition?
Re: My ex wants me to break the law for our child - sh...
« Reply #22 on: February 27, 2011, 07:52:18 PM »
Thanks, this is really helpful BUT you say you can't lie about how much court appointed child support you receive. This is EXACTLY what she wants me to do....to say that I pay one-fifth of what I pay to them. Thats what I find so confusing - why would you purchase health insurance that does not cover meds in a very common condition? Does such a thing exist? My ex says it does.
I was under the impression that you were British.  Is what you're saying that she took you to an American court who ordered you to pay this much in child support, that you pay it through the American goverment who takes it upon penalty of wage garnishment?  Because that's what COURT ordered child support means, and I'm pretty sure the scenario I just related to you is impossible.  If you pay her voluntarily, sending a check every month of your own volition, that no one else knows about that's different.
Yes 2500 pounds is much more than 2500 dollars.  This does not matter, and no matter what AMerrikanGirl says she's no expert on what drugs cost in the US, or doctor visits, or new treatments, as someone who has lived in the UK and the US, to you a UK citizen, it's an unbelievable, insane amount.  I've seen hospital bills at the welfare office for 300 grand; I've seen people on medication that was 5 grand a month.  AmerrikanGirl is a great poster on this subreddit with lots of great advice but here she just doesn't know what she's talking about.  She's not taking you for a fool, although the amount in support you give her does seem excessive, by asking you to lie with no possibility of repercussion (I cannot stress this enough), for your daughter to get health insurance.  It's just a letter, no one is taking advantage of you by asking you to write a letter, and if you live in a different country the possibility of being prosecuted for this is absolutely 100 percent, I'd put my life on it, impossible.
Re: My ex wants me to break the law for our child - sh...
« Reply #23 on: February 27, 2011, 09:44:14 PM »
I was under the impression that you were British.  Is what you're saying that she took you to an American court who ordered you to pay this much in child support, that you pay it through the American goverment who takes it upon penalty of wage garnishment?  Because that's what COURT ordered child support means, and I'm pretty sure the scenario I just related to you is impossible.  If you pay her voluntarily, sending a check every month of your own volition, that no one else knows about that's different.
Yes 2500 pounds is much more than 2500 dollars.  This does not matter, and no matter what AMerrikanGirl says she's no expert on what drugs cost in the US, or doctor visits, or new treatments, as someone who has lived in the UK and the US, to you a UK citizen, it's an unbelievable, insane amount.  I've seen hospital bills at the welfare office for 300 grand; I've seen people on medication that was 5 grand a month.  AmerrikanGirl is a great poster on this subreddit with lots of great advice but here she just doesn't know what she's talking about.  She's not taking you for a fool, although the amount in support you give her does seem excessive, by asking you to lie with no possibility of repercussion (I cannot stress this enough), for your daughter to get health insurance.  It's just a letter, no one is taking advantage of you by asking you to write a letter, and if you live in a different country the possibility of being prosecuted for this is absolutely 100 percent, I'd put my life on it, impossible.
I did not want to burden everyone with the intricacies of my divorce settlement. In the UK, we have a court ordered financial agreement so I may not be paying through the US govt but the ex has every right to challenge this amount in court. I should stress that my ex tells me that my little girl does have health insurance but just not to cover the meds she needs. I hear what you say about the risk of prosecution but from what you say, the risk of prosecution seems so low merely because no-one enforces it, rather than it not being a felony. I would only need the ex or one of her family to speak out against me and the already fragile relationship I have with my little girl could be compromised. Most children lose contact with the non-absent parent at these distances. I cant risk being labelled a felon and therefore denied entry into the US as this would mean I would only be able to see her if and when the ex brings her to the UK - at most, once a year. (And yes, we do talk on  skype but she is too young to understand it properly)
I guess I am wondering what is the bigger risk - welfare fraud or no entry into the US.

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Re: My ex wants me to break the law for our child - sh...
« Reply #24 on: February 27, 2011, 11:02:00 PM »
I did not want to burden everyone with the intricacies of my divorce settlement. In the UK, we have a court ordered financial agreement so I may not be paying through the US govt but the ex has every right to challenge this amount in court. I should stress that my ex tells me that my little girl does have health insurance but just not to cover the meds she needs. I hear what you say about the risk of prosecution but from what you say, the risk of prosecution seems so low merely because no-one enforces it, rather than it not being a felony. I would only need the ex or one of her family to speak out against me and the already fragile relationship I have with my little girl could be compromised. Most children lose contact with the non-absent parent at these distances. I cant risk being labelled a felon and therefore denied entry into the US as this would mean I would only be able to see her if and when the ex brings her to the UK - at most, once a year. (And yes, we do talk on  skype but she is too young to understand it properly)
I guess I am wondering what is the bigger risk - welfare fraud or no entry into the US.
With the amount of money that you pay in child support, she should pay for those meds out of pocket. If she can't, she's financially irresponsible and all the money you give her goes down the drain anyway.
Re: My ex wants me to break the law for our child - sh...
« Reply #25 on: February 28, 2011, 01:18:35 AM »
I did not want to burden everyone with the intricacies of my divorce settlement. In the UK, we have a court ordered financial agreement so I may not be paying through the US govt but the ex has every right to challenge this amount in court. I should stress that my ex tells me that my little girl does have health insurance but just not to cover the meds she needs. I hear what you say about the risk of prosecution but from what you say, the risk of prosecution seems so low merely because no-one enforces it, rather than it not being a felony. I would only need the ex or one of her family to speak out against me and the already fragile relationship I have with my little girl could be compromised. Most children lose contact with the non-absent parent at these distances. I cant risk being labelled a felon and therefore denied entry into the US as this would mean I would only be able to see her if and when the ex brings her to the UK - at most, once a year. (And yes, we do talk on  skype but she is too young to understand it properly)
I guess I am wondering what is the bigger risk - welfare fraud or no entry into the US.
I see, it's good that you told me about the intricacies here.  Since a UK court ordered it, it doesn't sound like the system in the US administrates it.  Which means that it won't show up on the computers (an important note here is that even if it did, which it won't, all that would happen is the caseworker would call her on it and she'd have to admit that the information she provided wasn't true).  For it to show up on the system it would have to be disbursed by the US child support service.  I'm assuming the arrangement is that you send her a check or payment through paypal every month.  If that's right then you have nothing to worry about even if it isn't right you'd still have nothing to worry about because if it's discovered immediately the caseworker will simply question your ex until she explains the discrepancy.
It's hard for me to convey how farfetched the idea of you getting into any trouble is, in my professional opinion.  It's so impossible, I just can't say how impossible it is.  Is it a felony?  In my professional opinion, no, but it's been a year and a half since I've worked at the office.
EDIT:  Actually, you know what.  They can't find out how much child support you pay, they also can't find out IF you pay at all or not.  You should tell her to leave you out of it completely.  If she wants to lie about how much she gets, and if they can't find out how much child support you're paying through the system then they can't find out that you pay at all.  So tell her to say that she gets no child support on the application and then you don't have to be a part of it at all.  If she's already applied and she's already stated that you pay child support tell her to ignore the rest of the application, wait a couple months, go back and don't write anything about child support on the application and she'll be fine.